Corrosive Patina at the Palme d'Or, Coral Gables

The Docent is thrilled that it's been a number of months since demerits were warranted. This time some Armenian friends share a disturbing tale of just plain bad manners. The situation made all the worse by these trying economic times, when restaurants--especially those with mortgage payment prices-- would want to be grateful to anyone willing to drop a bag of bucks at their tables. 

The pretentious Palme d'Or at the Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables has lost all fiscal focus and friendliness. My friends were served a nouvelle portion of fish in a tablespoon's worth of something or other when one of them failed to see the microscopic spoon attending the dish. (Itty-bitty utensils are absolutely imperative when eating itty-bitty food.)  Now hold on to your finger bowl, but our rogue Armenian friend did the absolute unthinkable: he used the salad fork instead. The idiot waiter (ungracious is too kind) sniffed and snarled with indignance "You're using the wrong utensil." 

Last time I checked, money is still green. Oh, well. I guess the Palme d'Or is bursting with diners these days. Otherwise how could they afford to insult their customers? 

80 Billion Tarnished Spoons! We are in a recession, you know.

The Palme d'Or is located at the Biltmore Hotel, 1200 Anastasia Avenue, Coral Gables, FL 33134. PH 305-445-1926.

Just Scrape It Off Your Plate: Panizza Bistro, Miami Beach

Two outta three ain't bad! Kudos to Panizza Bistro in South Beach for getting steak frites mostly right. Just forget about the steak part of the dish. The frites-- the fries-- are encouragingly Eurocentric in tone, texture and taste. And the accompanying sauce is gravy at its best. I had a soulful and soppable one made with onions, peppers and cream. Too bad for the steak, though. I now know exactly what old shoe leather tastes like. 

Perhaps the management at Panizza Bistro should rethink their offerings of steak frites. Have a little self-deprecating fun with the name and scrape the meat off the plate before it ever leaves the kitchen. Call it "You-won't-like-the-meat-anyway Steak Frites" or "Vegetarian Steak Frites" or the oh so au currant "Bailout-Budget Steak Frites." Besides, the prices here are already wallet sensitive. Now if they could just stick to what they do best and bail on the rest.

Panizza Bistro is located at 1229 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach, FL 33139. PH (305) 695-8800.